RAISSA G NOBLAT

No one was supposed to know, not even you.  

I lie to you, but I tell her the truth. 

It’s not me and you. 

Not anymore. 

You big fool, 

Fucking piece of shit. 

I’m fucking away from all of you. 

Full of shit, trying to teach me the basic, 

But I’ve learned pass that. 

It’s not even funny, 

You stink,

Freaks me the fuck out. 

But doesn’t frighten me.

I think I should stop writing such amount of bullshit. 

Sometimes I want my head to explode into tiny pieces, 

I believe that’s the only way my thoughts could be in order, when separated. 

Does this sound too rough to you?  

Too painful and ugly? A bit too uncomfortable?

Oh well, sometimes I do feel like shit. 

I don’t only have bright days,

And I won’t always be that confident smart girl you love me to be. 

Well shit I love it too, 

But right now, I’m not fucking her.

So, will you? 

Will you shut the fuck up? 

And let me fucking be! 

Hell yeah, I cuss sometimes.

I’m far from being perfect, goddammit.  

I don’t need views on this post, 

As a matter of fact, not even want you to read it.

No one, 

Whomever you people might be.  

One person?  

A few assholes? 

Nice people? 

Well, if I know one thing for sure about you lot is that you’re all very brave to have come this far on this shitty post. 

Before you say anything, I’m not full of hate, all right?  

It’s just me, 

Me sometimes, 

Me about to have my period, 

Me that just turned twenty-six. 

And I’m furious.

This author is not mad at someone in specific, even if it might seem that way. 

No one takes my peace away, no one other than myself,  

It’s just that my own shadow it’s been giving me the chills lately. 

It’s almost a full moon and I know something it’s about to change. 

I might be going mad, all over again as a matter of fact. 

I might not even post this, 

Most definitely won’t. 

I’ll just keep writing, 

Trying to get rid of this ………. 

Whatever that is.

I‘m looking at the sky from my window right now, and a huge dark gray cloud is near my building,  

And I’m praying for it to cry. 

Praying for rain to come down and calm me down. 

Fucking piece of shit I hope you rot in *piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii* 

Never, never, ever wish that on a person, ok? 

Not even me, ok? 

I might seem and look like a monster, but I’m truly not.  

I can be kind, 

I can have love for you, 

But I’m so lost. 

I just feel so lost today, 

Even more lost than a year ago. 

Are you still here? Shit. You’re either mad crazy like me or bored as hell. 

Either way you deserve a prize.

I’ll pray for the angels in the sky to give you a reward for enduring so much pain and heavy words so far.

However, I won’t apologize,  

You’re here because you want to. 

Or like I said, your bored. But still, it’s your choice to be here. 

I can’t force you into anything, 

Damn me if I ever try to, I even warned you at the front door, 

It was written “DON’T READ THIS” remember? 

But you lot love this, don’t you? Doing what someone warns you not to. 

Go on YouTube or something, find something better to do. 

Here’s the proof… 

…I’m straight up throwing all my hormones into this keyword on my computer. 

Even though I said I wouldn’t post this, 

I might do. 

Just because I’m a taurus, and that’s expected from people like me. 

Being controversial.   

Anyways, why are you still here? 

You know all the ways that life can test you, 

And what if this right here, right now, it’s a test? 

What if staying here and finishing reading this post, will take you someplace else? What if that comes with a consequence?

I might dare to ask you something …

Are you now Following or Building your destiny?  

Trick or treat. 

Should you stay or should I go?  

Are you still here? 

I wouldn’t be. 

In case this’s really a trick or treat kind of situation, I wouldn’t trust my luck on this. 

Really wouldn’t, 

You shouldn’t either.  

Anyhow, it seems like you’re still here after all, 

Might as well make something out of it.  

Shall we? 

Let’s talk about good things for a change. Huh? 

Ok, perhaps not actual good things, but real things that you might resonate with. 

Maybe I’ll have a few good advices to share? Let’s hope so. 

Well, I’ve had a nice morning today.  

Woke up at 6am, 

Had a cold shower,  

Healthy breakfast, 

Gym, worked out hard (glutes)  

But still, I’m here feeling like shit. 

Calm yourself down, there’s some truth coming up… 

And do you want to know why? Why I still feel like shit? 

Even after a productive morning and a good day at work?  

Because being a woman and trying to love yourself, it’s a very hard job my friend.  

Humans have a hard life, all right. I’m not saying anything different than that.

But twenty-something women, girls, whatever…… 

They struggle, struggle daily, loving, feeling special, struggle feeling sociable or accepting themselves.  

We fail too, mostly when we try to see things under others humans perspective, other than using our own beautiful, harmless, poetic eyes.  

I feel like shit right now because I had the wrong conversation at the wrong time, 

I didn’t used my strong, harmless, poetic eyes. 

You feel me? Like, I could’ve just skipped the situation, 

But it was me in fact that started it all.

I could laugh at it if it wasn’t a tragic situation. 

I’m not in prison but I feel trapped.  

I’m not free but I feel like a bird. 

What is it then? That keeps me in, sometimes out. 

Locked out of my own fucking house. 

Yep I’ve started cussing again. 

Damn I just think it’s one of these days.  

Wrong mood. 

Bad dayyyyyy 

Good writing 

Blah blah blah 

Bye now 

Ps: Can’t believe you’ve made it this far.  

Ps2: SURPRISE, angels don’t listen to me, so there won’t be a prize. So, forget it.